Subby is the Body – Week 19

As a career and leadership coach I’ve noticed a pattern with my clients. If he or she knows it’s time to leave a work situation that isn’t right for them, but they overstay, something will happen. They’ll miess up on an important project, for example, and put their job at risk.

This is true in daily life as well.

Many people (especially women) that I know, and who I coach, are overextended. They know they should,  a. Put on the brakes, b. Say “no” more often, c. Get more sleep, d. Put boundaries around their job and home life, etc., e. Take time to do things they enjoy, f. Meditate, g. Get to the gym, h. Take a vacation, etc. But they don’t.

When I broke my wrist last  week, I immediately realized it was my body’s way of allowing me to do a-h above. Since the incident (falling on ice), I’ve talked to a surprising number of women who were over-extended and had an arm or leg injury that slowed them down.

The fact is, Subby (our subconscious mind) will ALWAYS get us what we want, but we have to take the lead so it happnes in a manner that causes us to flourish, rather than suffer.

Do you need to do a-h above, but can’t seem to get around to it? Don’t make your body do for you later what you can do for yourself now.

Grateful for all Things – Week 18

A couple things happened recently that changed the pace of my life.

My son had a big challenge, so I rose to the occasion and “camped out” at his house for a week to support him while he got back on track. At the end of that week, I also slipped on the ice while cleaning the snow off my car that was parked at the top of the driveway, fell and broke my left wrist.

A friend of mine is going through chemo. I compared our challenges and put myself on The 7 Day Mental Diet.

This evening I would like to rip off the splint and use my arm and hand like I’m used to doing. Instead, I’m going to be grateful that I have a left arm, left hand and five working fingers, that I didn’t break my right hand (I’m a rightie), that my body will heal and that I learned a lesson I’ll share in my next blog post. That lesson has been trying to get my attention for a long time. I bet you’ve had similar, “Learning the hard way” experiences. When the body speaks, you have to finally listen!

Squash & the Law of Relaxation – Week 17HJ

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Photo credit: gimmesomeoven

Reading the 7 Laws was added to our MKE homework this week. The 7 Laws are:

  1. Law of Substitution (we can’t think about two things at the same time).
  2. Law of Relaxation (mental effort defeats itself).
  3. Law of Practice (with practice of the correct things we improve).
  4. Law of Forgiveness (we must forgive everyone in order to clear the channel to the Divine).
  5. Law of Dual Thought (attaching feeling to a through we want magnetizes it).
  6. Law of Subconscious (when an idea is accepted by Subby, Subby makes it happen).
  7. Law of Growth (whatever we think about grows and what we forget about diminishes)

Lately I’ve been enamored with butternut squash. I peel it, scrape out the seeds, cut it into little pieces, toss it in olive oil, put herbs d’Provence, sea salt and cracked pepper on the mixture and roast. It’s basically desert, without the sugar.

This morning I attacked the squash with a peeler. I was truly battling to get the damn skin off the squash so I could cut it up. I was struggling! Suddenly, the Law of Relaxation came to mind. I realized as I was going to war with this root vegetable, I was also straining mentally to get the job done. It occured to me then that the Law of Relaxation may apply to peeling vegetables. So I took a deep breath, cleared my mind of tension and relaxed my thoughts. Soon, I was peeling the squash gently and it was going much better. I learned that with less effort, I could peel it like an apple. I enjoyed myself so much more. It was no longer combat; it was pleasure.

I’ve also noticed recently that I grip the steering wheel pretty tightly when I’m driving. Now I’m wondering what other ordinary daily activities I accompany with a strained mental state?  I’m going to be on the look out for when I’m exerting more physical force or mental energy than is necessary to complete task, whether mental or physical.

I believe the Law of Relaxation is going to change my life by bringing more joy and ease to it.

I remember when I was being trained as a personal coach, the instructor would walk by me as I was coaching someone and say, “Soften your eyes”. He was teaching me the Law of Relaxation. I was straining too much to really be connecting with the person across from me, and it affected my ability to listen deeply.

I realize now that when our minds are relaxed they are receptive, and receptivity is magnetic! We don’t have to fight for our DMP, we just have to visualize, believe and gently repeat it, with enthusiasm. Even enthusiasm should not be strained. It is a natural outgrowth of our connection to Spirit.

How about you? Are you putting more mental or physical effort into things than is really necessary? Or do you approach most of your daily tasks with a relaxed mind?

Below is a photo from a Martha Stewart article. It shows no sign of any battle having occurred. This is how I want the scene of my squash cutting to look like.

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Photo credit: Martha Stewart

Peace be with you. Remember, your vegetable peeler matters less than your mental state.

Kindness Dissolves all Walls – Week 17

What would it be like to live in a world where kindness is the keynote? Or maybe we’re already living in this world and we just aren’t aware of the acts of kindness happening all around us all the time.

Last week hundreds of Master Key Experience students practiced observing and doing acts of kindness.  What I learned through this practice is that kindness is often gentle, simple and easy; it’s like a light breeze, a ray of sunshine, or a bubbling brook. Being kind doesn’t require a big effort or campaign.

It just takes a moment to be kind; to give someone a hug, open a door, acknowledge someone, give someone your seat on the bus, or get them a cup of coffee. You can of course be kind in more dramatic ways. But it’s the small acts of kindness that truly make this world a better, more loving, more flourishing place each day.  So if you’ve felt discouraged about our times, consider looking for the kindnesses all around you for a few days and your hope will be rekindled.

Just as we in this program are becoming better stewards of our thinking, we can also be good stewards of our actions. We can show ourselves kindness by monitoring our thoughts, practicing self-care, and taking the necessary steps toward our Definite Major Purpose. What could be kinder than a world where everyone has a Definite Major Purpose and a kind, honest and helpful support network?

You’ve probably seen or heard Aesop’s quote, “No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.” Well, I think even it undersells the power of  kindness, which is best demonstrated through small acts that are easy to pull off. All good things have energy, and all evil things have none. I think we can all agree that spreading kindness is a good thing; it’s catchy, it makes a difference to our quality of life. Each act of kindness ripples out and adds more love, gratitude, confidence, and well-being into the stream of life.

I’m going to turn Kindness Week into Kindness Month and see what happens inside myself and in my world. How about you? Will you notice kindnesses occuring at work, in stores, at the gym, in your own life?

There is a Tide – Week 16

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Photo credit, Business Insider

There is a Tide in the Affairs of < Men >

I’ve always loved Shakespeare, and he speaks to me in his words below about the journey we’re on in each of our DMP-related ventures; all us being moved along by the truths we’re discovering and putting into action.

I think it’s such great timing that this is the week we’re collectively noticing and spreading kindness. I feel connected to the collective Master Key Experience tribe this moment more than I ever have. Previous to today, I was aware of the 300 or so of us being on the same ship, but as we take on the awesome challenge of noticing kindness and doing kind things for the next week, I really feel our souls joined together in something BIG.

Here are Shakespeare’s words that capture my sense of what we as a group are doing in creating and riding a wave of kindness:

“There is a tide in the affairs of men (and women), Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea we are now afloat; And we must take the current when it servces, Or lose our ventures.” ~ William Shakespeare

I’m really feeling joyous and so I’m bursting to make and share a list of the changes, large and small, that are happening in my life as a direct result of following this program faithfully, with the great support that has been offered by all.

Here’s my list of changes, and it’s just the tip of the iceburg.

Since MKE, I am:

Happier

I’m waking up happy, excited and focused and ready to get going, and I’m keeping this state steady through the day. I can’t wait to read MKE ‘stuff’ and sit, and then get on with my day.

More grounded in my spiritual practices

I’m meditating regularly and feeling closer to Spirit.

Putting self-care into action

I joined Massage Envy and I’m getting two massages a month (one of my nurturing activities in my DMP) and I love the masseuse who is very intutive, empathic and skilled.

Being kind to myself by increasing pleasurable experiences in my life

I’m actively listening to music again.

Increasing connections and intimacy with others

I’m more active socially and I’m forging deeper friendships with others by being more authentic and present.

More focused on family time and creating memories with them

I’m spending more time with my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren.

I set up an art studio in my house, and I’m creating more art. In addition, my grandsons cant wait to visit so they can make art at Grandma Val’s.

More assertive

I able to say “No” more easily when I want to.

More honest

I’ve become more honest with myself and others, and therefore I’m getting more of my needs met.

Seeing and attracting more opportunties

I started a new job and I wouldn’t have taken it if it weren’t for the nudging of the great questions from my mastermind buddy, Paula, and another friend. I am seeing my job as a platform for accomplishing my DMP, instead of an impediment to it. This job will help me purchase a home in FL faster than relying solely on my business, which I now have time to work on more methodically.

More engaged in the present moment

I have increased “presence”.

Much less fearful / anxious

I have very little fear or anxiousness these days (Lesson 5, page 34, #32) (Those in possesion of our inheritance can) “…never again be timid, weak, vacilating or fearful.” and Lesson 5, page 35, #28, “…finding as much pleasure in the execution as in the satisfaction of attainment or achievement.”

THIS IS MY YEAR OF THE GORILLA

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Taking care of small things right away, and bigger things in small, steady chunks

One remarkable change you wouldn’t think would make such a difference is my new approach to doing dishes. I don’t have a dishwasher right now. Previous to MKE I was letting dishes from my meal “soak”. Now I’m doing them right away. It’s so empowering, like our daily service card. Subby doesn’t know the difference between me doing the dishes right away, or sitting down and getting my book edited, or my card deck made.

Magnetizing more ideas and opportunities

People are sharing great ideas with me related to my business (things they see me doing or being involved in).

Someone invited me to chat via LinkedIn. I discovered that he studied with Bob Proctor (Earl Nightingale’s business parter), and was in fact his number 1 salesman internationally and we spent 90 minutes talking about metaphysics.

The promises of working this program are coming into being; enlivening me and filling me with gratitude and ENTHUSIASM!

I’m really rooting for our collective tribe to get to 8000+ kindnesses ASAP. It seems at this moment nothing is more exciting!

Let’s go, team – think KINDNESS in every moment and our hearts will be exploding with love and gratitude by next Sunday.

 

The Path with a Heart – Week 15

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Copyright ©, 2018, The Path with a Heart, Collage by Val Olson,

THE WILD

I just finished watching Wild, with Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern. I viewed it through the lens of the heroes’ journey, and also through the MKE lens, looking for evidence of a DMP, PMA, POA and MMA (purpose, mindset, plan and allies).

ORDINARY WORLD

Cheryl’s Ordinary World was filled with many trials and tribulations which naturally lent itself to the underworld of addiction, relationships with abusive men and scavenging for her food and clothing from dumpsters. From an MKE perspective, she had a lot of layers of cement covering the wild (authentic) aspects of  her such as insightfulness, purposefulness and self-directedness.

CALL TO ADVENTURE

I assume it was either after addiction treatment, or after leaving it prematurely? that she answered the Call of Adventure, which was walking the PCT. She left Minneapolis (my home town) and headed toward California. In a flashback scene, it was obvious the idea had been planted in her mind earlier when she saw a book with  a photo from the PCT on its cover. As the “voices” of home cooked meals and good company” called to her enticingly  (Ordinary Life) as she packed her backback. She was obviously motivated by anger at being where she was in life; at the status quo which wasn’t serving her. What an effort she made to wrestle the backpack onto her tiny frame from a sitting position. This was her commitment to her journey, no matter how arduous, the sure completion of it was represented in the steeling of her will at the beginning.

Her backback reminds me of the MKE program. It provides everything we need for the journey of life; fueled by our Definite Major Purpose (DMP). I viewed the subtext of this film as not giving up or giving in to self-destruction, and her PPNs being Liberty from all that had previously held her back, and also the desire for Health. While so many jagged memories of her interactions with others played out on her walk through the wild, each step fueled greater self-determination. If you’ve lost yourself to addiction, it makes sense that before any other purpose can come into clear view, you have to leave the chemicals (or other self-destructive habits) behind in order to find yourself. Once you find yourself, your DMP comes more easily into view.

As I watched Cheryl reading instructions for putting up her tent, I thought again about MKE and how each week we have instructions to prepare for the week and a lesson to follow. If we follow the instructions, we are putting up a tent for life that offers shelter for our soul and the keys to fulfilling our purpose.

I enjoyed the subliminal phrases woven into the movie, which reinforced the importance of having a PMA (postive mental attitude). For example, “If you believe, you can achieve”, and “Live dangerously” (take risks). I believe self-discovery is a bigger risk that going on a solo trip across the wilderness. The journey of self-discovery and victory over every inner and outer obstacle is the ultimate heroes’ journey.  There was even a moment in Wild when she had a “Gal in the Mirror” moment, seeing herself reflected in a window.  I believe she was seeing herself without the cement and that this helped her carry on. I was thrilled that Carlos Castaneda’s “Path with a Heart” got a cameo mention, too. When I came across it years ago it spoke to me, and continues to speak to me now. I’ve shared the poem *below.

ALLIES & ENEMIES

Along the way, Cheryl meets allies as well as enemies she defeats. Most of her allies are other hikers, friends and her ex, supporting her on her journey, in some cases with essentials, like fuel, food, clothing and safety. Some of the enemies she defeats, besides addiction, are the rattlesnake she side steps away from, the stream she submerges herself and holds herself steady in against the current, and a winter storm she pushes through.

I loved the moment when she found the strayed llama and meets the little boy who tells her, “I have some problems I’m not supposed to talk to anyone about”, and then sang the Red River Valley in an act of empathy.  This encounter with innocence, the song about loss, and the wisdom she was able to share with him as well, seems to have led to the moment of surrender followed by the (THE RESURRECTION) in the form of this profound monologue:

“What if I forgive myself?” What if I was sorry? If I could go back in time I wouldn’t do a single thing differently. What if I wanted to sleep with everyone of those men? What if everyone taught me something? What if all those things I did got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What I already was?”

In this moment, Cheryl realizes that there is nothing to be redeemed; and instead embraces the thought, “How wild it is to let it be.”

In the end she found her own way out of the woods and thanked the trail for everything it taught her (metaphorically thanking her life and everything and everyone in it up to that point.

In some ways this movie is about following a path you might not know you’re taking. She took the path with the DMP of finding herself, and in doing so she was able to achieve things such as remarrying, and having wo children and then we are left to imagine what other things she will tackle and achieve in her future. Because she Returned with the Elixir. And the elixir was the ability to choose, to take ownership of what had happened to her, and what she wanted to happen next. I think she will always keep her promises…

Here’s the poem:

“Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary.

This question is one that only a very old (man) asks. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn’t. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.

Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a (man) finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.”

~ Carlos Castenada

I leave you with this question: Is your DMP, or path you are on, a path with a heart? If so, remember Cheryl, and how she overcame so much on her journey through the wilderness. If not, never give up discovering (or inventing) your reason for being on this planet.

Saying Yes to Self-Authority – Week 14

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Self-Identity, Self-Authority & Self-Responsibility

“Rock the Boat. Do Rock the Boat Baby. Tip the Boat. Do Tip the Boat Over.”

“The gorilla is quiety charismatic and a symbol of raising our heads and recognizing the nobility within us.”  ~ from Spirit Animal Totems

I just adopted the gorilla as my power animal.

I say YES to healthy adaptation and resilience. I say NO to over-accomodation, pleasing others at my own expense and postponing delivering on my soul’s greatest purpose for being on this planet.

I SAY “YES”:

  • To being myself fully and without any reservation.
  • To forthright expression of all of my emotions without fear of what others will think, or despite feeling afraid to speak out.
  • To telling the truth, even if it’s scary.
  • To always behaving in line with my values of creativity, contribution, freedom, recognition, awe, beauty, collaboration, adventure, learning and connection with others.
  • To always standing up for myself.
  • To knowing what I want and going for it with gusto.
  • To not letting someone else talk me out of any of my well thought out decisions or  perceptions.
  • To putting my needs and wants first.
  • To adapting to others needs and wants, only if I’m not sacrificing my own.
  • To not postponing my life in any way, including the postponement of goals, dreams, tasks, fun or responsibilities.
  • To securing my success, even if someone else may be threatened by it.
  • Genuineness, authenticity and living my truth moment-by-moment.
  • To taking care of myself by eating nutritiously, sleeping 7.5 hours a day, exercising and making self-care and my own projects my first priority.

I never give my thoughts, emotions, creativity, sponteneity, authenticity or capacity for intimacy to keep others around, get their approval, or not make waves.”

I do it now!

I always keep my promises!

Sincerely,

Valerie J. Olson

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any ( person) man.” Polonius (In Hamlet, by William Shakespeare)